monday - sarcasm doesn't always translate
"Nico, please. Please. I can't - can you just - when a host puts a question to you can you just answer it properly for once in your life? People don't get your humour and most of the time you get away with it but sometimes, like today, you just look like an idiot weirdo."

"So?"

"It's my job to make you not look like an idiot weirdo."

"No, I think your job is to book me on a ton of things I don't want to go on and then keep your fingers crossed I'll play the game, Ashley. Anyway, what was wrong with what I said? I talked about my influences, again, and my travelling, again, and then I answered the question that they asked."

"By saying you haven't got the time to be the hottest new couple?"

"I haven't! And to be honest with you, I don't think Mava's got the time either, I wasn't speaking out of turn."

"I fucking hate you sometimes. Why couldn't I get put in charge of a kid who really wanted to be famous and listened to everything I said as a result?"

"You're so funny when you do this 'I didn't choose this life this life chose me' when we all know most people have publicists on the end of a phone line and not constantly sleeping in the bunk three along. Face it, Ashley, your ire is transparent."

"My ire is transparent? Have you swallowed a fucking thesaurus?"

"Nah, I'm publicly dating a writer now. We do crosswords and sudoku puzzles before bed."

"You want me to think you're joking but I know that's true, dickhead. Right. Look. Just... can you answer me one question straight? Please?"

"Sure."

"Do you want to be asked about Mava?"

"No. We're never allowed to mention her name in conversation again. From henceforth we're to refer to her as Madame MonkeyBeezus."

"Jesus Christ, Nico."

"I don't think that name suits her, Ash, bit New Testament."

"You mark my words, darling, one of these days you'll wake up murdered."

tuesday - honesty isn't always the best policy
"I know you're tired."

"Uh-huh."

"I know you're burnt out."

"Uh-huh."

"I know I've fucked a few things up this week."

"Really?"

"Shut up. Yes. But this - you only get one shot at this, Nico. We don't do this now then there's no framework for the second record, there's nobody demanding it, there's no guarantee of sales."

"There's not a guarantee of sales anyway, what if I visit Russia in my holiday time and decide to make my next album a tribute to Russian dance music? Nobody who has come to see me now would come to see that."

"Oh, is that the direction you're thinking about?"

"It's either that or Norwegian heavy metal."

"You're coming over all Scandinavian."

"All this russian around you guys are making me do."

"That. Was awful."

"You were saying?"

"I'm saying... look, I'm with you. There's nothing wrong with wanting time off, especially with everything going on with you and you need to not be on a bus every night if you want some inspiration for songs and shit, but please, darling, don't tell the world you're counting down for your holiday."

"How the fuck can I, Ashley? Every time I think I've got a week, you tell me you've booked me some promotion shit. Nothing is inevitable, I've got no date to count down to."

"You... you'll definitely get Christmas off?"

"Ha fucking ha."

"I think you mean ho fucking ho."

"Ho ha ha ho."

wednesday - don't tweet bored
"Nico - "

"Yeah?"

"... forget it. I don’t want to know."

#throwbackthursday - only invite what you can endure
"I thought you didn't want to be asked about her."

"Who?"

"Mava."

"I don't think that's what we agreed to call her, is it?"

"Nico."

"I haven't been asked about her?"

"But you're instagramming pictures of her in Las Vegas?"

"I mean, you saw that she tweeted a picture of me in bed in Vegas, right? And I did that Rookie thing in LA? Not to mention we walked into a big fashiony thingy holding hands."

"Fashiony thingy."

"Tell me it wasn't a fashiony thingy."

"Fine. I just... okay, I think that being social media public invites people to ask. You're inviting them in on Instagram and all of that, so people start expecting you to be open about everything. I dunno, Nico, it's not an either/or situation, because I know you kept quiet for a long time and that had its strains, but I just don't want either of you to be surprised if people - and by people I mean journos and interviewers - think that your flood of public love receipts means they can start pressing you for even more."

"Public love receipts sounds fucking weird."

"Did you listen to any of that?"

"Of course I did, I heard you say public love receipts."

"I swear to - "

"I listened to it. I don't... this is really weird for me, you know that, right? The whole fucking idea that anyone is fucking interested is just... but I don't... it's not that I don't want to be asked about her. I'm not nervous about being asked about her. I can't promise I won't squint at the person asking and ask them why they're interested, but I just think that... I wanted to post that picture. I like that picture. I wanted Ben to see that picture and show Zoe so that Zoe does another Drawing of Mava, and I wanted Paul to see the picture so that maybe he gets off my fucking case about booking more tour dates because I've got a fucking life to live, and I wanted Mava's nana and uncle to be able to see it so they see we're good and she's good and life is good, and maybe I wanted someone in my family to see it to feel good that I'm doing well or you know, to stick it to them because the world is bigger than they'll ever know. So, you know, yeah. If all of that means people are gonna ask me about her more then people can ask. But all my answers are in the picture."

friday - drunk people don't give a shit
"Why did it take you so long to answer your phone?"

"I was in bed."

"It's five in the afternoon."

"I didn't realise you'd turned into the fucking speaking clock, thanks for that. My phone was downstairs, I had to decide how much I really wanted to answer it. What's the matter? We said eight, right?"

"Yeah, it's not that, for once I'm not getting at you. I need - Nico, there's something you should probably know."